Forgotten Identity

Life is an aspect in our reality that either takes control over you, as an individual, or you take control over it. Everywhere one may be led by life, there will always be influential people or factors which threaten our fragile comfort space. These influences however are not determined by the power or strength of the influencer but the vulnerability of the influenced.

Just like every good deed in life, we judge everything by how it is primarily presented to the potentially influenced individual – which should determine if whether or not it was successful in pursuing that individual. We, as humans are quickly adaptable to influencers with a slight hope of a positive result in the end. Thus is our weakness however. We are vulnerable to all that is ‘too good to be true’, and that automatically eliminates our protective barriers. Often people find themselves in uncomfortable spaces, mostly resulting in forgetting who we really are in some instances. There is a reaction to each action hence not many forgotten identities are unpleasant.

The human mind absorbs all that which catches it’s interest, often without safeguarding the existing core. It is our own fault however, that one may be vulnerable enough to surrender to an influence because we are quickly persuadable by everything that makes sense at first glance. It’s a contagious trait in humans and may even be a part of the nature of life on earth, regardless of the species. A coincidence of this trait is that it is both fortunate and unfortunate. It’s basically fortunate in most cases when someone needs a wake-up call and realizes the obvious reality that we are responsible for ourselves individually. A negative consequence of misfortune is explained in full by the topic, but it could be worse – to the point that suicide is considered the only way out.

It takes more than ten hot days to generate enough sunlight to generate rain in the clouds, but it takes only one rainy day to lose all the rainfall gained. Relevance to the key conversation, someone can lose themselves in an unpleasant reality for lust or desire of a single moment. A personality can take years to accumulate yet it can all be lost, or worse forgotten, just because of a sudden interest in something else. One of the things we as humans need to do is nurture whatever it is we have. We need to understand the value in all that we already have going on in our lives. It takes that much to turn away from something that might threaten possession of what we already have.

The cause of forgotten identity can never be staged in only one relative reason as there are different people, with different experiences who fall victim to it. Some may forever be in the search to finding themselves in everyone, perhaps not realizing they had themselves all along – they just never valued, introspected or never truly knew themselves. The one issue with that is, everyone is searching for themselves in everyone and none of them will find themselves in someone else’s eyes. Some causes often run along the lines of an individual looking to be socially accepted hence they forget themselves in the quest of pleasing others. Self-awareness of who one really is at times makes it possible to be enough for an individual self.

Some individuals simply fail to see it in that perspective however. Statements like ‘why should I settle for what I have when I could get more out of life?’; or ‘enough is never good enough’ and so forth. These are great motivational drives but at what cost does something extraordinary have to come at? Does it mean forgetting who I’ve been for the past ten or twenty years? Does it perhaps mean I should lose the respect and dignity I have for myself just to be social accepted? Some internal questions have to be asked and answered if we have great respect and acknowledgement for who we are. Coming back to the mirror reality can save a soul from being lost forever.

It is a known fact that we create our own reality each and everyday. Influences will always be there, fortunately and unfortunately. It may have been the reason you are who you are today. But losing yourself for temporary moments or influential peers may not be worth it the following day when introspection comes and you don’t recognize the person in the mirror anymore. People should learn self-worth and self-value because as individuals there is no telling what and why something works for the next person. You are your greatest experiment, don’t get lost in the mix.

ASHLEY KHAMBULE

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