Ashley Khambule

One of the most common aspect in every human life is the ability to feel, either for themselves or the next person. Romance is declared as one of life’s pleasures. Having the ability to be intimate with another person is a fairly honest way of claiming that romance exists.We are all exposed to different characteristics of people in the society we live in, mostly of the opposite gender. We have found a way to connect the two bodies in an unusual bond, Romance. Through this aspect of affection, even life is given birth to as we pay the debt of reproduction of life. It is divided into various possible expressive ways. Hugs, kisses and sexual activities are all different possible ways of expressing this aspect.

As we are all aware of life’s uncertainties therefore we all give romance stages to which one has to follow to reach the fulfillment of passionate romance. We all have different ways of going about this but we are familiar with the action of giving commitment to a certain romantic relationship, like marriage, also known to most as “tying the knot”. Although it may seem all true and holy, there is no guarantee that a romantic relationship is based on love in its definition. Sometimes the mind convinces us that it’s there with statements like ‘how can I marry someone if I don’t love them?’ or something along those lines. We often try so hard to believe it, but if there is a possibility of a divorce or break-up, a cheat attempt or violent traits followed by it, how sure are we that we truly love our romantic partners?

It is a known fact that Lust is always the feeling we get with newly found relationships. We all believe we like the person before falling in love with them. Some believe their romantic relationships begun in ‘love at first sight’ but find no reasoning in rejection or destined break-ups. Some even hate before considering to love. But if love is what we believe it is, the feeling can’t be shaken off in the blink of an eye after saddening discoveries about the other person or the relationship as a whole. If we live everyday with a fragile complexion of love, carry the burden of guilt or doubt in our individual consciences, doesn’t that give out the idea that we thought, think or imagine the feeling we have must be a mismatched feeling opposite to that of love. Lust exists gracefully in the honeymoon stage without any question of how one truly feels. If he can slap her more than once and still say ‘sorry babe, you know I love you’ or turn around after another woman walked passed them walking in the mall just to look at her behind, ignoring the fact that he has his arm around his partner’s figure or that she slept over by his house last night, clearly that isn’t love.

A mistake of the thought that you love her so much that you think she loves you back is nothing but a crush through lust. If you loved her so much, you wouldn’t bother telling her that every night as she would know and there wouldn’t be a need to. We all fool ourselves into thinking that love exists by trying to convince ourselves that it does. If we forget that love is a feeling not a theory or belief, we have lost all knowledge of what it truly is. We lack knowledge of our feelings as we claim ‘it’s complicated’. This is done in so many ways. How do I know how to tie a shoe if I don’t even know why am I doing it. You can never claim to love a person when you don’t even know what love is or how to project the existent love for yourself towards someone else. We often mistaken love for lust forgetting a fact about the phenomenon – Love is not a thought, but rather a feeling.


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